The foundation of Buddhist practice is sitting. Just sitting. Just sitting and letting go of all the ‘stuff’ filling our minds, everything that keeps us on the wheel of karma, the wheel of life as we know it. At the center of all depictions of the Buddhist Wheel of Life are a rooster, a snake and a pig representing greed, anger and ignorance, the three poisons that lead humans to evil action and personal suffering. Anger is the snake. Anger encompasses hatred, ill-will, animosity, rage, fury, wrath and aversion. Its poison causes far more destruction in this world than that of the rattlesnake or the cobra.
An essential component of Buddhist practice is letting go of anger which, among other things, is a huge hindrance to realization. That is, for a Buddhist ‘righteous’ or ‘justifiable’ anger do not exist. Think of that: anger is never righteous, never justified. Metta, the practice of loving kindness toward all beings, does not permit anger…not toward the driver who cuts you off in traffic, the friend who betrays, the liar who misleads, the greed and ignorance that travel with anger. It is not the person, event or situation toward which anger is directed that is the issue. Anger itself is the root of the problem. That is, the root of the problem of anger is in you, not outside.
But anger happens to every human being. Anger is part of the human condition. Anger and aggression are too often confused with strength, but that is delusion. Anger is a poison and makes one weak, but no one entirely avoids anger, even Buddhists, not even Buddhist masters. The path is not easy. Buddhism is not for sissies.
What to do?
According to the Dhammapada, Buddha said, “Conquer anger by non-anger. Conquer evil by good. Conquer miserliness by liberality. Conquer a liar by truthfulness.” Keeping in mind while contemplating the words, “Conquer anger by non-anger,” that Buddhism is a practice, not a belief system. You do not defuse another’s anger before you have conquered your own. John Daido Loori summed it up this way: “…what you do and what happens to you are the same thing…cause and effect are one, not two. And when you realize—not understand, not believe, but realize—that what you do and what happens to you are the same thing, there’s no way to avoid taking responsibility for your life. There’s no longer any way you can conceivably say, ‘He made me angry,’ because you know that only you can make you angry. And when that fact really comes home, you empower yourself to do something about anger. So long as he made you angry, you will continue to be a victim.”
Einstein said, “Anger dwells only in the bosom of fools.”
What to do?
Mindful Buddhist practice requires honesty and the first step when you are angry is to acknowledge that you are angry. “I am pissed off.” Do not be one of those people who is clearly angry but for some reason insists they are not. It is crucial that the recognition of your own anger includes the realization that your anger is created by yourself. No one makes you angry. You make yourself angry. Your anger is your responsibility and you need to conquer it. Don’t lay it on the world which already has more anger than it can handle.
People who hang on to anger tend toward depression, obsession with political ideologies, real or imagined enemies or one or more of life’s very real negative aspects. Anger causes us to reject without reflection whatever displeases us or infringes on our ego without understanding our inescapable connection to the object of that displeasure. Anger and ego are illusions born of the mind. Anger is the easy way, the dishonest way, the poisonous way, and it always creates more anger, more dishonesty, more poison.
Let it go. Let go of anger by (literally) sitting with it. Letting go of anger requires patience, sometimes a lot of it, compassion (especially for yourself), honesty, lots of time on your zafu and the realization that your anger comes from your own mind. Do not indulge your anger. Thich Nhat Hahn says, “When you express your anger you think that you are getting anger out of your system, but that’s not true. When you express your anger, either verbally or with physical violence, you are feeding the seed of anger, and it becomes stronger in you.” Again, anger is not strength. It is weakness. It takes patience, compassion and courage to look at your own anger and realize that it is poisoning you and that you are the only one who can get rid of that poison.
Let it go. Sit with it. Let it go.