A communist and a capitalist are conversing in a bar after several drinks. They are similar in appearance though the capitalist is better dressed and less concerned with the appearance of his stance before the bar as perceived by other customers. The effect of the scotch whiskey has made the mind of the capitalist quick, loose and undisciplined while having the opposite effect on the communist who drinks dark ale.
Com: “Convention and respectability are the refuges of cowards and the spiritually and socially weak.”
Cap: “Communism is the refuge of the poor.”
Com: “The poor financially, not spiritually or socially.”
Cap: “Possibly, in some instances. Not always.”
Com: Economics and the income of workers are controlled by the bourgeois and Wall Street. The people have no control and there is nothing they can do about their poverty except to change the system.”
Cap: “The spirit of a man is developed, or snuffed out like a candle flame in a strong wind, by the society he is born into and by the church of that society two hundred years earlier.”
Com: “There is no God.”
Cap: “Maybe, but there is a church.”
Com: “A tool of power hiding behind bourgeois respectability and convention in a stupid, corrupt society.”
Cap: “A very handy tool to control people who like to be controlled, like communists.”
Com: “Just because we lack power does not mean we like to be controlled. At any rate we will destroy the church along with convention and the rest of the bourgeoisie.”
Cap: “By killing people in the revolution?”
Com: “Yes. It’s the only way to get them off our backs.”
Cap: “(Sarcastically) Brotherhood!”
Com: “Certain measures are necessary to achieve true brotherhood.”
Cap: “Murdering the bourgeois?”
Com: (shrugging) “They are not brothers.”
Cap: “Bullshit. It’s a small family you have if everyone has to think and be like you to be a brother and sister. You guys are hypocritical bastards.”
Com: “Don’t get mad. I like you. You’re one of us.”
Cap: “Bullshit. I’m not, at least not unless everyone is one of us.”
Com: “I think you are. I know it. I can feel it.”
Cap: “Well, forget it. Your feelings don’t seem to match your thinking. Let’s talk about something else.”
Com: “Sure.”
Cap: “Have another drink?”
Com: “Of course.”
Cap: (To the bartender) “Two more.”
The scotch and ale are served and the communist and the capitalist silently contemplate the bar, the drinks and their own reflections in the mirror behind the bar.
Cap: “What do you do?”
Com: “I’m a pimp.”
Cap: “Not very respectable.” (chuckles)
Com: “That doesn’t matter. What do you do?”
Cap: “I paint.”
Com: “Houses?”
Cap: “No, paintings. Art.”
Com: “To show what?”
Cap: “The soul of man.”
Com: “He has no soul. That’s an invention of the church.”
Cap: “His spirit then.”
Com: “Is your spirit strong?”
Cap: “I’m not a communist.”
Com: “You mean you paint for yourself?”
Cap: “That’s right.”
Com: “Then you are corrupt and your work serves no purpose.”
Cap: “That’s wrong. My work inspires and informs people, and it brings them beauty. Besides, you bloody hypocrite, what purpose does your work serve?”
Com: “I’m the middle man, a functional part of the business, as necessary to society as a grocery store.”
Cap: “You are a pimp.”
Com: “It is only temporary.”
Cap: “What is more corrupt than a pimp?”
Com: “A priest, a politician, a money lender, a thief, a liar, a whore.”
Cap: “No. If she is a good whore she gives pleasure and is honorable. A good pimp is just a pimp.”
Com: “A man’s got to live.”
Cap: “You are a bloody hypocrite.”
Com: “It will be a different world after we take over.”
Cap: “You’ll still be a hypocrite.”
Com: “I’ll have an important position in the government.”
Cap: “Your reward for being a pimp?” (chuckles)
Com: “No, for my loyalty and working hard for the cause. I’m a faithful worker.”
Cap: “Bullshit!”
Com: “Huh! What will you be after we throw over this corrupt system?”
Cap: “Dead.”
Com: “No, seriously.”
Cap: “A painter.”
Com: “You have no ambition. You don’t care about making this a better world.”
Cap: “I like what I do. I want to stay a painter, become a better one if I can. A good painting makes a better world. That’s ambition.”
Com: “You have no hope. See what bourgeois morality has done to you? You want things to stay the same.”
Cap: “Oh, hell. Forget it!”
Com: (leaning closer) “You know, after the revolution I might be able to get you a position in the government.”
Cap: “Horizontal or vertical?”
Com: “What?”
Cap: “Forget it.”
Com: “You’re a strange one.”
Cap: “The hell with it. Let’s have another drink.” (Finishes his scotch in a gulp.)
Com: “Okay.” (Finishes his ale.)
Cap: (To the bartender) “Two more.”
They drink.
Com: “Say, are you interested in a girl?”
Cap: “I might be.”
Com: “I know where there are some good ones.”
Cap: “I’ll bet you do.”
Com: “Interested?”
Cap: “Sure. Why not?”
Com: “Okay. Since you are a friend of mine—I like you—I’ll make sure you have the very best and it won’t cost you much.”
Cap: “Yeah?”
Com: “Really.”
Cap: “I believe you.”
Com: “Let’s go. It’s not far.”
They finish their drinks, the capitalist pays the bill and the two leave the bar and walk slowly down the street.
After the capitalist and the communist leave, the bartender washes their glasses, wipes them thoroughly and then places the ale glass with the other ale glasses and the scotch whiskey glass with its brother whiskey glasses back on the shelf behind the bar with the others.